Readiness for first grade, social dynamics and shyness are all discussed by Cynthia in response to a mother's inquiry about keeping her daughter, who has an August birthday, in a Waldorf kindergarten for another year.
Cynthia writes:
As parents we truly ache for our children when we feel
they are being left out. Young children often do not
have the capacity to be sensitive to the needs of
another child, although there are times when their
compassion can surprise us.
It sounds as though your daughter is a bit invisible
to the others. They are so in the thick of their play
that they do not take note of whether or not she is
joining in. On the other hand, one or another of the
children (a ring leader so to speak) may be guiding
the other children away from her for reasons we might
not ever know.
Have you ever tried having a party for the children in
the class? It doesn't have to be a birthday party.
Maybe an icecream party - only a couple of hours with
a few planned games outside. Parents could come also.
While your daughter might be shy or want to stay near
you, the children would still take a step into her
world - even if only a few of the children came.
Spring is a busy time in Waldorf schools, but you
might be able to find time on a Friday after school or
a Saturday afternoon.
You could also try inviting the one girl she really
likes for an afternoon of play. Rather than leaving
them on their own, where the girl might continue to
boss your daughter around, do something together with
them - like making a pizza or baking with them or
planting flowers. In her own domain, she might be
more relaxed with her friend and more able to lead
rather than follow - for example, getting out the
ingredients and handing an egg to her friend to crack
or setting out the plants and showing her friend where
to plant them.
With her late birthday and small size, it does not
surprise me that she relates so well to her younger
brother. If she were in a mixed-age kindergarten, she
might also find herself gravitating to the younger
ones, rather than her peers. She may blossom socially
a little later, as my son did.
Yes, I think it is a good idea to allow her another
year of kindergarten. Having been a kindergarten
teacher for many years, I remember how beneficial it
was to a number of children to spend more than one
year in kindergarten. I recall one little girl who
basically did not speak the entire first year I had
her in my group. She also wanted to be near me a good
part of the time. The following year, however, when
some of the olders ones had moved on to first grade,
and she was now one of the oldest in the kindergarten,
she amazed me. She was one of the leaders in the
group - and very creative and imaginative in her play.
Sending blessings on you and your children.
Cynthia
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